So....click, click, click. With the ignitionon on (in accessory mode), you get radio, wipers, etc? Then when you turn the key you get clicks? After that what do you get in accessory mode? Radio again? Watch the dome light when you turn the key. I know you said you had the battery tested, but if all electric dies when you try to start the key, you either have a bad battery connection or a bad battery. Your battery is in the trunk. Have your mechanic wire up another battery to the battery leads under the hood. The hot lead is on the left side rear as you are looking under the hood, covered with a red plastic cover. The ground is either on one of the strut tubes or, if not there, someplace solid that you can clamp the ground (earth) lead to. If you get a crank with a battery connected up front, then your problem is a battery lead or the battery itself. If you get no crank, then the options and dollars to fix probably goes up.
Is it a stick-shift? If so, can you try to push-start it? Confirm that the engine will crank (i.e. not seized or vapor locked.)
That's all I can think of at the moment. Please let us all know what you find out.
Hope this helped.
Current cars: '99 E39 wagon (200k+), '99 E36 Cabriolet (220k+), GMC Yukon Denali (186k+, but who cares?)
Prior BMWs: '99 E39 (120k), '94 E34 (220k), '93 E34 Touring (320k), '86 E30 (275k), 76 E12 (175k), '74 E10/model 115 (2002 tii) (110k)
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Last edited by hodgepodge; 11-24-2011 at 11:34 PM.