| Here's one for you all...
I had been avoiding getting gas since last night as I pulled away from Andrews house and the notorious BING! BING! BING! came on letting me know that I need to drop a another fifty spot on a tank of petro that costs we six times what is should because some sand ninja decided it was a good idea to shoot a rocket propelled hangernade the the oil riggs which happen to be the only income producing industy that intire fucking shitbox of a country has...breathe..breathe..anyway, thats a whole different ninjamail. So I pull up to chevron and there is a clean shiny E36 convertable sitting in front of me. The car is nice, but some shit head high school kid is in the drivers seat with his eminem look alike fuck head buddy in the passenger seat. Ok, so some rich kid is driving his dads car, nothing new, although a little odd in Lynwood, I guess it could happen. First oddity that occurs is this high school kid gets out and suddenly he is no high school kid. The dude is a twenty eight year old, skinny as a fucking rail, buzzed head, dirty wife beater, baggy ass basketball shorts, untied shoes with the toungue flipped out, wigger. Hahaha, well he doesn't seem to be so economically sound with single cigarette shoved behind his ear. As he limps by, obviously not hurt, its just cooler to look like you were born with the umbillical cord tied around your neck, he gives me a little look over, his eyes saying fuck you, I drive a fucking BMW you Literate motherfucker. This entire scene was made by the fuzzy white mustache that I would have never noticed except as he turned away the light shimmered through it like newley grown pubic hair on a 14 year old albino chick from Minisotta. So now I'm a little curious how this obviously to dumb to work fuck box could have such a nice car. I watch him through the window as he goes in to pre-pay for gas (second oddity, anyone with a BMW is paying at the pump with a credit card), he gets to the window, and I see him reach into his pockets and start counting change, no fucking shit this retarded fucker doesn't have a bill to his name. As he is headed back I realize I need to find out how this short bus riding asshole has this car. I say:
"Nice car, my good buddy has an M3, an E30."
"What?"
"My friend has an E30 M3."
Then he says, no fucking shit, "NO man, only BMW makes 'em!" I am not fucking with you, he really said that.
I don't know what to say, I just look at him and say, "huh, I thought it was an M3".
By this time he has finished pumping his $4.87 cents of gas, honestly. Less then 2 gallons worth. I turn away watching him out of the corner of my eye. He jumps over the door of his car like some god damn suburban dukes of hazard. He gets in and now I figure it out. As his car pulls out I look in and see the seats are all slashed, the glove box has been ripped out, the carpet is gone, and the roundel on the front is ripped off. I see in the back seat the sign that had previously been taped to the back window. It says "7/15/04, bid item #2321." This white trash piece of shit has gone to a police auction and picked up a car that 1, He can't afford to pay the insurance on. 2, He can't afford to buy gas for. And 3. Since he stalled it pulling out of the gas station, isn't smart enough to drive.
That is Lynnwood for you. | 
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