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#1 (permalink) Old 03-28-2004, 11:49 PM
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Apologies if this is a repost, it's a good read, and a good laugh. :lol:

I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by surprise ...

I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a streetlight.

As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth from my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition.

Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.

The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming cylinders ...

Then the light turned ... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke pouring from my front right tire ... my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders.

He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his 0.7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel.

I saw a glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth ... He was running a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust ... even cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul!

The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction ... Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift!

I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost* chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch.

We careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.

He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little to take the next corner.

I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva...

The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the outside, my P165/R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right.

Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!

I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking for other unwitting targets .... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon Van!

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#2 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 12:07 AM
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that was a interesting read.


ps. i want more lol

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#3 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 02:04 AM
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thats a funny one, nice find

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#4 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 05:15 PM
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lol great stuff... the metro. my buddys got a convertable one. it sits next to his iroc. lol such a differance.... i know. metro vs issetta

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#5 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 07:09 PM
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now that would be a race

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#6 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 09:59 PM
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next thing we need is a 2 door Ford Aspire(63 hp) V my friends old ass accord(17 years old) 4 cylinders of fury(64 HP)

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#7 (permalink) Old 03-29-2004, 11:47 PM
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best driving story I have read in a long time.

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#8 (permalink) Old 03-30-2004, 12:35 PM
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ya that was a great read

ill race u in my 84 ford f-150 lol

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#9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2004, 01:24 PM
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I'll race you in my 90 525i

seriously, my 525 is slow as balls until about 30, then it starts to pull like a mo-fo

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#10 (permalink) Old 03-30-2004, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by mr_indigo@Mar 30 2004, 02:04 PM
I'll race you in my 90 525i

seriously, my 525 is slow as balls until about 30, then it starts to pull like a mo-fo
Sounds like my wife's old L7 with 360,000 miles on it. We put the poor baby out of comission last year, Too much engine work needed (she got it used at 260,000 miles).

Once it got up to speed, you sure as hell better not jump off the curb in front of it, because caste iron steel does not slow down fast, or yield on impact at all...

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#11 (permalink) Old 03-31-2004, 12:11 AM
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the engine is in perfect shape... it's just the way m20 engines are in a 4000 lb car. 168hp surely dont move that much weight under 3500k rpm

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#12 (permalink) Old 04-01-2004, 11:01 AM
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That was a great story........but Hey ....dont knock the Metro......Back in the day when the bimmer was only in my dreams......My only ride was my 92 toyota pickup reg cab......I could only fit one other person in it. So my friends and I used to like to travel to clubs and parties in many different states and couldnt take the Toy. All my friends were delinquants and spent all their money on drugs and beer and had no cars. Another friend had this metro and was more than happy to trade me rides any time I wanted to travel cause she looked way sexier im my lifted truck than that green roller skate. That car took us all over the east coast and even carried 6 of us crammed into that thing at over 90 mph all the way back to NY from Boston without falling apart. I cant say that I wasnt embarassed to drive it but it got us where we wanted to go.......most of the time trippin on acid .....so I guess we diddnt mind the cramped quarters, poor acceleration, shitty handeling, horrific radio.....ect ect ect.......... Iwouldnt be cought dead in one now....No offence to the mad racer and writer of the story .....but Dont knock the metro.
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#13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2004, 06:16 PM
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I want my 75 seconds back.

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#14 (permalink) Old 04-08-2004, 03:19 PM
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Remonds me of my first car.
88 Volvo 340, 1.4 litrees, and about 70 hp.

drove it a few hundred yards recently, into a field (where my sister drove it until the half-a-tank ran out).

Damn thing. After my E30, it was like trying to drive a brick.

Unmodded (and never will be) E30 318i
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#15 (permalink) Old 04-13-2004, 05:43 PM
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Great read

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