A little Christmas humor for all my forum friends.
A Christmas Eve To Remember:
Twas the hour before Christmas
The 5er all snug in her bed,
Not a gasket was leaking
And gas without lead.
As I lay in bed
Wishing for new tools and a ladder,
I hear a noise from below
OH NO -- What's a matter.
I jump to my feet
And run down below,
Hoping and praying
Please Please don't let her blow.
I look over the radiator
Head gasket and all,
Nothing is spewing or broken
Not even a hose.
In dismay I return
My bed warm and comfy,
Only to be awakened
Goodness sakes this better be something.
As I return downstairs
This time with a Louisville slugger,
I couldn't believe my eyes
Santa, five elves and sombody's mother.
As they sit in my car
All dressed in red and white,
I didn't know what to do
Swing for the fences or invite them for a bite.
So I thought for a moment
Then chose the latter,
We all go upstairs
My wife says "Hey what's the matter"
I say not to worry
As a elf flirts and stares,
I say listen here shorty
Louisville will send you out -- Like planes at O'Hare
Santa now worried
And the mother too,
They jump from my table
Saying pardon for the boo-boo.
I acknowledge them with a nod
Saying it's just a mistake,
They were sincere
But they have to go -- it's getting late.
As they load the sleigh
Santa all ready to go,
He grabs my wife
And says "look it's mistletoe."
I lunge for the bat-
Mother and elves in shock,
I said "let go of her"
And with that a good WHACK!
I thought it was my bat
Directed straight to his head,
Then noticed my wife smiling
She had kneed Santa in the nads.
I was such a proud husband
At that moment in time,
Santa was singing like a soprano
And my wife was looking fine.
Santa finally gets up
There all running like little girls,
Five elves and the mother
Santa about to hurl.
With the sleigh loaded right
Toys for good girls and boys,
I heard some faint words
As they go out of sight --
HO HO HO!
Merry Christmas to all and all a good night!
Merry Christmas and may God place His highest blessings on each of you this coming new year!
Jim & Family