PCV 2003 540i BMW (Crankcase Ventilation)
We just replaced the PVC on a 2003 540i BMW 4.4L V8.
The local garage wanted $550 (BMW dealership; ?$$$?)- you can DIY.
It is bolted to the rear of the intake manifold by seven T-30 star cap screws.
You need some high quality T-30 wrenches and a small (~6 inch) Vice-Grip pliers. We used both 1/4 and 3/8 drive - what is needed is small diameter (because of adjacent hardware) for some screws and short (because the firewall is close) for others. Hand access is not too bad.
The spline in these is screws is criminally shallow (maybe .050”) but we were able to remove all but 2 using finesse and brute force and two different ratchet driven T-30 “sockets”.
We had to loosen and slide the water hose off that blocked straight access to the lower right (passenger side) bolt, and use "small diameter tools".
Keep the wrench straight and push HARD forward while applying torque – STRAIGHT is very important because the splines a extremely short. If you feel the wrench cam out and then the cap screw head feels like it has burs - the spline is gone – give up on the spline and switch to a small Vice-Grip.
Try hard not to strip the T-30 spline on the two lower left (driver side) screws – they might be hard to get the Vice-Grips on – we assumed we might have to break up the PCV assembly to get to these screws with Vice-Grips.
Replace the crap T30 cap screws with hex head screws - a really short Ľ extension is handy.