On my 1995 318i, production date May 1995, where would I find the starter relay? This could be where my starting problem is. Anyway, it's a good place to begin, because there is no voltage going to the starter.
I had a problem where I had thought the starter relay was bad, but ended up not being it cause my car is manual. Anywayz, on to your question. The starter relay is behind your dash on the left hand side. You will have to remove all the plastic cover underneath and also probably the foamy cover behind it to reach it. I can tell you by experience (refer to first sentence). look at the Haynes manual which tells you about it or download the Bentley from here and check it out.
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