if it was taken off a car and he says they work, you should be fine. Im not sure many (if any) US spec M3's had clear tails (not sure tho, some1 else will hopefully chime in) as long as they work and dont cause and problems, i would get them...
Most of the OEM BMW stuff will have the BMW logo on it somewhere. Other than that I'd say those were aftermarket.
If an item is stamped SAE it may use SAE fasteners rather than Metric fasteners, which is not OEM.
The DOT approval stamp means it meets minimum DOT requirements for performance and safety. DOT's standard on headlights and their light pattern projection is different than the European standard (E-code). Most people believe the european E-code light pattern to be a better performer.
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