Fuel relay on e21 is the largest black relay out side the cover.
To bypass the relay short between pins 30 and 87.
The car should operate as normal or the issue is not the relay.
Here is a diagram.
It is a relay with a solid state board internal.
Pin 31 is the ground and the wire is Brown
Pin 1 is the RPM sensor and the wire is Black
Pin 87 is Fuel Pumps
The others are power in
Pin 15 is hot in run or start
Pin 50 is hot in start only
Pin 30 is the main input and is hot all the time.