The fuel pump won't always kick on, it will the first time to prime the fuel system, and then after that the car has to set for a little while, maybe a couple of minutes before it will try to prime it again. The relay that you're talking about is the #2 or main relay. Next to the driver's side front strut tower there are three relays, two of the relays should be at the same height, and one, the front one I believe, is lower. They may be hiden under a little black box plastic box, maybe 4 inches long and 1 1/2 inches accross. The lower one is your #2 relay. Try removing the relay and look at the prongs on it to see which prongs is what, and take two jumper wires, just two pieces of wire maybe 3 or 4 inches long, plug them both into the "30" socket, and run one to the "87" and one to the "87a" socket, and see if the car starts. I don't remember right off which is which, but either 87 or 87a sends power to the ecu and the other sends power to the fuel pump relay which is right next to the #2 relay. If it starts then you've found your problem. That's what fixed mine, and yours sounds exactly like what was wrong with mine.
Last edited by SEdgell; 03-01-2009 at 02:59 PM.